Mommy in waiting- Expectations vs Reality

Nine months is a very long wait for you to meet someone and I swear every day seems like a lifetime. The anticipation and curiosity grow stronger the closer you get to your due date.

With every kick, you will find yourself wondering if they took your eyes, his nose, your lips and then you will get to the part where you decide that your baby will be a better person if they had your personality or if they took their fathers.

During the pregnancy wait, you become a Picasso of note painting an image of how your precious gift will turn out. Dare I say you play a puzzle of putting together the pieces of the character, structure and just their mannerism.

Needless to say, the 4D ultrasound scans that we did during our third trimester did not settle my Picasso, puzzle building imagination, no all those videos and pictures did was just add more ideas to my already out of control imagination. Whenever my AriBear would kick after I ate, I would say something like, “nchoo she is the cutest thing isn’t she thanking her Mommy” or when I used to lie on one side for too long and she would kick and I would say, “she is so cheeky telling me what to do, I can tell she will be a bossy one” see that was me creating a personality for her! I am one of those people who loved their baby bump and I took photos almost always.

A selfie with my bump

I have a dimple on my right cheek which I got from my father and for some reason I wanted my baby to have one as well. So much pressure for an unborn baby and too many expectations on my end. The list was long and included some rather questionable expectations. In my defence, It was my first pregnancy and I had no idea what to expect and every experience and milestone in the pregnancy was a beautiful first.

My AriBear is 17 months and has dimples on both cheeks (just like grandpa) and she has Mommy’s complexion, but she remains her daddy’s girl through and through. What we hope for and imagine during pregnancy is far from what we get when they finally arrive. It knocks your breath away and is and will remain the most perfect moment in time.

The image you had created in your head will just disappear and that puzzle you built will fall away when you come face to face with the little person. They suddenly become someone you know but just met. You know that feeling you get when you click with someone and you just feel in sync with them when you cannot imagine a life without them because they fit so well into the life you have.

The feelings you think you will have when you first lay eyes on your baby, do not even come close to what you feel when you have the first contact with them. You suddenly become consumed with a great gush of affection at a level you never knew you could have for someone. It doesn’t happen at a click of a finger, or at least it didn’t for me.

After I gave birth I was numb, anxious, shocked and just in a haze. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Hubby and I could have done something so beautiful and when all those feelings subsided I was hit by a wave of love and a need to protect my new found love.

Keep building that puzzle and being Picasso, it will keep the pregnancy moving and you will have something to look forward to. You can share with Daddy or anyone close to you in your building and painting expedition it’s fun and feeds the curiosity very well.

Ari’s Mommy…