My two year old toddler is not yet ready for potty training

No, we are not late to start the process. We are putting it on hold till our baby girl is ready. She is still two years old, and there’s enough time for her to catch up!

My failed attempt at potty training my toddler

Ari’s Aunt bought her a cute pack of little panties for her second birthday. And I think excitement might have gotten the best of me because I decided that day that Ari would be off nappies. Come on, call me gullible already!

She was so excited to be in her underwear she ran around the house in them for a good ten minutes. I know now that she had no idea why I dressed her in panties and not her nappy. I spent the better half of the day putting her on the potty and encouraging her to pee. I have also come to realize that she had no idea what that meant. Which begs the question, what does she think I do when I sit on the toilet seat? 

On our fourth try at the potty, she flat out refused for me to pull her pants down. Then she moved away from the potty and stood a reasonable distance away from it. I tried to gather my thoughts on the sudden change of mood. Then I saw it! The pee was slowly soaking her tights as she stood there like nothing was happening at all. 

She refused the potty; she had no idea she needed to pee. There was no urge to squat, nothing at all. Then I understood the words; “let your child be ready before you start potty training” meant. At that moment, I felt the only thing left was to bathe my girl and put her in nappies. It didn’t go as well as I had hoped, but we tried. So I packed the rest of the cute little panties away because this adorable little girl was/is not yet ready!

I’m waiting for the right time to start potty training my toddler.

“Is she still in nappies?” 

“How old is she?” 

“She should be fully potty trained by now.” 

“Are you not tired of buying nappies?” 

I have been getting so many comments and questions like this regarding my daughter. Sadly, Mom-shaming is something we have to deal with as moms. As though parenting is not a tough enough job already. I mean, she is two years and four months! Only two years! I know some kids are fully potty trained by that age, and some are not. The truth is, kids are different. And my baby girl is no exception at all!

While my daughter can communicate with us and take commands well, she still struggles to vocalize certain things. The other day she came running to me then said, “Mommy Nana poo-poo” - all while pointing at her soiled nappy. I was beaming with pride! She understood that she pooped and needed to be changed. And could communicate all that to me. However, she hasn’t figured out how to report before having to go. Baby steps, though. 

And yes, we are getting closer to starting the training!

“Sadly, Mom-shaming is also something we have to deal with as moms. As though parenting is not a tough enough job already!”

Knowing the right time to start potty training

We bought Ari a potty months before she turned two years old. Call it the excitement and eagerness of a first-time mom. I couldn’t wait for my girl to start. Well, after the failed attempt. Which I think might have left her with a little fear or anxiety. She refused any attempt of using the potty for anything other than “a chair that plays music.”

She would sternly say, “No, Mommy,” – press the music button and then prop herself on it. And clap her hands, swing her head back and forth while giggling animatedly with her sweet dimpled smile. 

Who am I to get in the way of such an adorable act! 

So it’s a potty-chair! And Ari has decided it’s a good companion for when she watches cartoons. Sometimes she will sit on it in her nappies with her pants pulled down. As I said, we are getting there. But not yet ready to start the training.

My darling sweet girl is not yet ready for potty training, and that’s okay. She will be ready soon. And when she is, Mommy will be there to help!

“You’ll want to ensure that your child has reached the necessary milestones before you start potty training. After all, being able to use the bathroom independently involves a complex set of motor, cognitive, verbal, and emotional skills,” says Dr. Jazmine McCoy - a clinical psychologist and mom of two toddlers. 

Kids are most likely to perform well when they are willing participants. The process becomes easier for them to adjust to and to understand. So make sure your toddler is giving signs of being ready to start potty training.

As for me, Ari is giving ZERO signs of readiness! But all in good time, right?

“My darling sweet girl is not yet ready for potty training, and that’s okay. She will be ready soon. And when she is, Mommy will be there to help!”

I’m anxious about potty training my toddler. 

“Will I be patient enough with her?”

“Can I handle those many, many accidents she will have?”

“Will she handle the pressure of trying something new?”

A fellow mom friend and sister advised me to put Ari in panties and just let her be. She said she needed to learn to be free from the comfort of nappies. Naturally, I asked her how that would work since my girl has no understanding of the whole concept of relieving herself on a potty, let alone rushing to the toilet. 

Her answer was, “you will clean up the puddles of pee and pick up the poo dumping’s; she will leave.” I’m still trying to wrap my head around having to do all that work. Never mind having to live in a house that reeks of pee.

The thought of potty training gives me an influx of emotions. I worry I might get impatient when my daughter is not getting into the rhythm of the activity. What about when she has accidents after having good days? I don’t want her to feel my anxiousness or any negative energy I might be having. Kids feed off the energy we give, and I don’t want her feeling like she is disappointing me in any way. 

I put so much pressure on myself to be good for my daughter. As a mom, I have gone through a great deal of mom guilt. And sometimes, when things don’t go as I have planned, I take it as a failure. Like I am a bad mom in that instant.

Patience is essential when potty training.

I know it won’t happen overnight. Potty training is a significant milestone for kids. And because each child develops at their own pace, I can never know how long it will take Ari. I need to be patient with myself and especially my baby girl. One day at a time, or should I say baby steps.

I am choosing to block out all the pressure (although some might come from the right place) regarding my daughter still being in nappies. She is not ready for the potty, and I am not as worried about that as yet. She still has time to catch up, but she needs to learn a bit more communication skills. 

If you're hoping to start potty training your little one, I'm with you in spirit.

Love ArisMomie...♥