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The Myth of raising a Perfect Child as a Perfect Parent!

The perfect parent huh?? Is that even realistic? Let me start by asking what the perfect parent is…and what do they do, and where can one find them! That being said is it really practical to thrive to raise the “Perfect Child” …As parents, we all want the best for our children and because of that, we try so hard to do things that are deemed perfect for them. And many parents make it their life’s mission to mould the perfect child according to societal standards. Which is always followed by the, “why can’t you be like Mpho or like Tsepo”, if they do not follow in the societal standards of perfection. Honestly, this is just unnecessary pressure on the kids and the parents for that matter.

As far as perfect parenting goes I am one person who is far from that. Listen I am not trying to win awards here! Or make the Guinness World Record Book… all I want is to raise a decent human being that will be strong enough to stand on their own two feet, have respect and fight for what they believe in. The other things will just be a bonus. I will pave the way and of course, their character and personality will fill in the gaps.

We have books that help us understand our children’s development and issues that they may face and how to assist them through those. Like the baby books many of us buy during pregnancy, don’t get me wrong the books are amazing and I truly enjoyed knowing where I was with my pregnancy. And then you get books on raising toddlers which give guidance on how to deal with their tantrums and just their behaviour in general. These books help give a heads up on what to expect and how to handle those situations. But there is no known recipe for raising the perfect child, dare I say there is no such thing.

Just like every other person is different from the other so are our children and they will have different milestones altogether. My AriBear had her baby gums for the longest time when the first teeth started showing I had stopped wishing for them. Then the crawling happened, before that, I was that mom that kept trying to push the baby to crawl it was really funny because AriBear kept crawling backward. It was so disheartening but then I realised I should tone it down a bit. I relaxed my very exaggerated expectations and just enjoyed my baby.

This other evening, I was preparing supper in the kitchen and she was crawling at my feet, the next thing she got up and walked to the couch which was about 5 feet from where I was standing. At first, I didn’t notice and when it finally registered I was over the moon. What I am saying is that AriBear’s milestones are and were different from the next child who might be her exact age. Imagine living your life comparing your child to the next child? When in the heavens would you get the time to fully enjoy your child! The main thing you should be concerned about is if the child is fully developing on par and further to that relax Mommy it will happen.

AriBear finds the prospect of pulling things out of the containers and scattering them around her as the biggest thrill. Might I add that she is very quick with her actions, all you need to do is blink. I had a box of tissues close by or should I say the box was within her reach and all I did was step away from her, to be precise I was 10 feet away from her with my back to her. She had the tissues shredded around her and when I screamed at her she offered me a tissue with the cutest smile ever and I let her be. Okay, I might have shoved the tissues I could salvage back into the box.

Our children will not be mini-robots that can be programmed to reach and follow standards, no! we will let them live and find their way at their pace while gently pushing them in the right direction. We do what we can as parents to make our children’s lives as smooth as could be, in the most realistic way possible. What I mean is that we can’t avoid them getting hurt or being disappointed from time to time because that is life and they need to feel and experience those feelings but we guide and support them as much as we can.

Please comment or share your thoughts.

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Ari’s Mommy